tl;dr about china and the intensity of my negative feelings

Let's talk for a moment about how much I don't want to go to China this summer and how much my parents are insisting that we go.

No, I'm serious. The last thing I want to do is go on this goddamn trip, and it's not even because it's with my parents. I don't particularly care about that. What I'm genuinely pissed about is that I'm not being given a choice in the matter. I'm going because I "need to learn about my family history" blah blah blah. Here's a hint. I don't give a flying fuck. Maybe two years ago, I would've. But not now. College is supposed to open your eyes and all that, right? Well, it's certainly opened mine. I'm much more American than I ever will be Chinese. I'm practically American, for all intents and purposes. I hate hanging out with other Asian kids because I know nearly nothing about the culture, even though I still speak Cantonese fairly well for a Chinese-American kid. I know nothing, I can't connect with Chinese people who aren't already my family and friends, whether they're American-born or not, and this is not a world that I want to have anything to do with anymore.

And my parents keep trying to force it down my throat.

And honestly, me going to Hong Kong and China for three weeks RIGHT AFTER I GET OUT OF FINALS is going to result in nothing but misery and me throwing bitch fits the whole time because I seriously don't want to be there. It's not just three weeks, it's the three weeks and several hundreds of thousands of miles and time differences that I'll be separated from the people and things that matter to me. Like the friends I haven't seen in months, or the shows that I'll be missing, or even possibly the class of 2011 graduation ceremony. All these things matter so much more to me than visiting my parents' homeland or whatever. They can go by themselves when I'm back in school or something, there's no need to drag me along on a trip that is going to be a waste of money because I'll be miserable for most of it. Yes, I wouldn't mind going. But not two days after I get out for the entire school year, and certainly not for three motherfucking weeks. Maybe in like... several years, you know?

Not to mention that if Empires tours in California during that three-week span, there will be rage felt from China all the way to the US. I'm not even joking. Heads will roll and my parents might have to leave me here for my own safety.